


~Nameless~

by Astrella



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Iwaizumi Hajime is a Good Friend, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, Iwaizumi is a photographer, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Oikawa Tooru is a Good Friend, Oikawa is a physiotherapist, Original Character(s), POV Third Person, Prompt Fic, Reconciliation, This is the prompt chapter of a writing challenge, gusari inspired, iwaoi - Freeform, tell all of the main character's backstory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29585118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrella/pseuds/Astrella
Summary: My retelling of Gusari's Iwaoi domestic AU doujin, featuring an original character - Setoguchi Yua.This is basically a tell-all story of their lives together, from childhood all the way till adulthood when Iwaizumi and Oikawa find each other again. What will happen to Yua afterwards? That is completely up to you.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 19





	~Nameless~

**Author's Note:**

> This is the prompt chapter to a writing challenge inspired by Gusari's Iwaoi domestic fluff doujinshi titled "Ano Machi ni Sunderu Karera no Koto."
> 
> This story consists of an original character - Setoguchi Yua's life story and her involvement with Oikawa and Iwaizumi.
> 
> I've also included some background music if you'd like to listen to something while reading. It's a 30-minute loop of an instrumental song and it's what I personally listened to while writing this story.

[🎵](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqKEZpf2oD4&t=154s)

At the gentle beckoning of sunlight, Setoguchi Yua opened her eyes. Faintly, she could make out the shape of the heavy drawn curtains, separated just far enough to allow a slit of light through into the dark bedroom. Propping an arm beneath her, Yua attempted to sit up only to feel a dull ache run down the lower half of her back. She winced, instead opting to reach an arm out towards the bedside table, feeling around until her fingers brushed up against a pair of metal frames. After putting her glasses on, she finally braced herself into swinging her legs over the side of the bed.

As Yua stumbled towards the bathroom, she worked on massaging the heel of her palm against the small of her back. It hurt, as it always did. And judging by the sound of the microwave whirring in the living room, the perpetrator was still in the house.

Turning on the lights and staring into the mirror, Yua was met with her groggy reflection and the dozen purplish bruises littered all-over her neck and shoulders. She frowned, quickly pulling the sleeves of her loose t-shirt aside to inspect the damage.

She looked like a dalmatian.

“Masaru!” She shouted, dragging her steps out the bedroom and into the living room, where a young man with long, tied back hair and slight stubble sat.

“Looks good, babe,” Masaru hummed, leaning back in his seat.

“I told you to stop leaving hickeys on me. I have work tomorrow.”

“That’s a you problem,” he snorted, shifting his attention back to his phone, probably scrolling through the morning news. “Just cover it up with that skin colour thing you always use on your face. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“I’m meeting Hajime for lunch today.”

“Seriously?” Masaru made a disgusted noise. “You hang out with him every day.”

“It’s been two months since I’ve last seen him,” she corrected him, only to receive a skeptical look in return.

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure you just saw him last week.”

“He spent the last two months in New Zealand for a photography internship, Masaru,” Yua’s brows knitted together. “How would I-”

“Right, right, New Zealand,” the brown-haired man rolled his eyes. “Just making sure, you usually have a pretty shit memory.”

Yua was silent for a moment. Folding her arms over her chest, she then leaned up against the doorframe of their bedroom. “My back hurts too,” she added. 

Masaru threw his head back with a groan. “This again? I can’t do this so early in the morning.”

“I’m just telling the truth,” Yua murmured under her breath. “Maybe if you finished quicker, my back wouldn’t be cramping up all night.”

“I was just trying to make you feel good,” Masaru said as he stood up from his place in the dining chair, though Yua didn’t fail to miss the mocking under-tone that accompanied his words. He made his way over, grey eyes trailing the woman up and down as he grabbed her chin, the pad of his thumb running across her swollen lips. “It’s not my fault your body is just so-”

But much to his surprise, Yua was quick to slap his hand away.

“Hajime’s right,” she said, eyes cold as she glared up at him. “You’re the worst.”

Masaru almost laughed at her response. “What are you talking about?”

“Exactly what I said, you piece of shit.”

He sighed. “I swear there’s always something with you. Quit being so dramatic.”

“Dramatic, how?” Turning on her heel, Yua stormed back into their shared bedroom, Masaru hot on her heels.

“Unreasonable, dramatic,” Masaru was quick to respond. “You’re literally getting upset over nothing.”

“Nothing?” Yua glared over her shoulders, appalled by his choice of words. “You wasted 40,000 yen to buy a pair of shoes on _my_ credit card last week.”

“You said I could use it!”

“No, I didn’t!”

“Oh my god, now you don’t even remember what you said and didn’t say,” Masaru threw his arms up. “If you want your money back, fine. Just give me two weeks, and I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” Yua almost laughed. “You’ll pay me back? You and what job?”

Masaru hesitated for a moment. “... My job at NEC Corp, Yua. What are you, developing early-onset Alzheimer’s?”

“Mhm.” Going along with his boldface lie, Yua took the opportunity to muse at his reactions before looking him dead in the eye. “You mean the job at NEC Corp where you were fired from two months ago?”

The young man froze.

“When were you gonna tell me?” Yua narrowed her eyes. “We have our quarter-year rent due in two weeks! Where the hell have you been going every day from eight to five p.m.?”

“Jesus Christ,” Masaru huffed out a breath. “Okay, so I got fired. I was gonna figure something out eventually. You don’t need to be so high-strung. Just calm down and-”

“No.” Bending down, Yua reached under their bed and began sorting through the number of bags they kept stored beneath. “I’m done with you.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“I do.” Dragging out the red duffle bag, Yua swiftly tossed it in his direction. “Pack your things and get out, now.”

“What?” Masaru was flabbergasted. “So what? You’re just gonna throw me out now? Jobless, homeless?” He gave a jeering laugh. “Three years down the drain over 40,000 yen and getting fired?”

“You really think that’s it?” Yua began to raise her voice. “Last year, when I got into that car accident and ended up in the hospital for a month. Where the hell were you?”

“I told you, I was busy! Izumi lost his mom around the same time-”

“Nice try, asshole. I asked. Izumi’s mom passed away eight years ago,” Yua snapped back. “You were just out getting drunk off your ass with your friends.”

“I-”

“Six months ago, when we went to that concert,” not giving him a chance to get a word in, she kept going. “We got separated, and not once, _once_ , did you ever try to call and find me. When I finally find you, where are you? At the bar with some waitress hooked around your arm.”

“She was just giving me a drink,” Masaru rolled his eyes. “Now you’re just being insecure.”

“Whatever.” Dragging out another bag from beneath the bed, this time, a black backpack the two of them used to go hiking last summer. “Just pack your stuff and get out of here,” she took a deep breath, attempting to reign in her scattered emotions. She needed to end this properly.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“I don’t care. Get out,” Yua said, her tone finally evening out. “I don’t want to see you ever again.”

**_***_ **

“So that’s what happened,” Yua said, resting her palm against her cheek as she skimmed through the menu for the fifth time. Her glasses were now switched out for contacts, and her dark eyes flickered upwards to study the young man sitting directly across the table, under the shade of the outdoor seating’s provided umbrella. “He packed his bags, I kicked him out, and he took the chance to call me a bitch one last time.”

“About time,” Iwaizumi Hajime said with a sense of finality. “I’ve been telling you for years that asshole isn’t worth it.” His olive eyes met hers, noticing the slight bags under them. “You okay?”

“Probably,” Yua shrugged as she set the menu down and leaned back in her seat. She couldn’t process anything she was reading.

“You still love him?” Hajime raised an eyebrow, mentally gagging at his choice of words.

“I used to, I think,” that second part almost came as an afterthought. “But at some point, whenever I looked at him, I just stopped feeling anything anymore.”

“Well, in case you need any more convincing,” he averted his eyes towards the bustling streets. “He was complete trash. You made the right choice.”

“I know.” Yua followed his gaze, and for a while, the two of them sat in silence. A dynamic they had grown to appreciate over the last three, four years or so.

“Right now, I’m just worrying about rent,” Yua finally said, burying her face in her arms with an exaggerated sigh. “I have enough saved up to cover this time, but I probably need to start looking for a roommate pretty soon.”

Iwaizumi hummed, his attention shifting back to his childhood friend. He thought for a moment. 

“Why don’t you just move in with me?”

“Seriously?” Yua peered up at him through the cracks between her folded arms. “Hajime, you live in a one-bedroom apartment-”

“-that’s basically left empty six months a year,” he pointed out. “I’d rather pay rent for an actual person than dust bunnies and street rats.”

“Ew. You have rats in your apartment complex?”

“No, I was joking.”

That made Yua sit up. Upon a closer inspection, she came to the conclusion that he actually was.

It was rare for Hajime to make jokes, especially with no alcohol in his system to influence his mood. But after twenty-three years of knowing the man, as dry as the comment was, Yua knew it meant he was making a genuine attempt to cheer her up.

“But it’s still occupied six months a year,” she countered. “Where are you gonna stay if you’re back in town?”

Hajime shrugged. “I can just crash on the couch.”

“I can’t make you sleep on the couch,” Yua frowned. “It’s _your_ place.”

“For the record, I’m not letting you stay there for free,” Hajime said as he gestured for a waiter. “We’re splitting the rent, so it doesn’t really matter who takes the bed, does it?”

“But still,” Yua pressed her lips together. “Are you sure? You _do_ realize your dating life will become even more difficult if any future POIs find out you’re living with your childhood friend.”

There was a slight shift in Hajime’s movements where he froze. But soon, he went back to his usual routine as a waiter came hurrying over, preparing the notebook and pen.

“I don’t really care.” He murmured before ordering a serving of agedashi tofu.

Yua turned her attention down to the menu.

That was a stupid comment, and she knew it. So instead of pointing out the subtle hostility in his voice, she instead focused on finally mentally processing the menu and ordering a bowl of unagi rice. 

After all, whether he knows it or not, Iwaizumi Hajime will always and forever carry a torch for Oikawa Tooru.

Once the waiter finished taking their order, he nervously read it over before hurrying back into the restaurant. Yua watched him leave.

“Hajime,” she spoke after another moment’s thought.

“Hm?”

“When are you free to help me move?”

**_***_ **

“Goodness,” Mrs. Setoguchi covered her mouth in amusement. “Hajime-kun really grows up so fast.”

“Yua-chan is doing well too,” Mr. Oikawa said as he wrapped an arm around his wife’s shoulder. “But Tooru is a little slow, isn’t he?” He murmured as his voice trailed off into a laugh.

Situated between the circle of adults, the three infants were dressed in various animal onesies and left to their own devices on a colourful playmat in the Iwaizumi family’s living room.

Hajime, being the oldest of the three, was always a little ahead of the others. At seven months old, he was already zipping about. He crawled from the edge of the playmat to the wall, nearly bumping into everything along the way like a headless chicken. Yua, who was already physically developed enough to sit up, simply sat on the playmat silence. She watched Hajime with large dilated pupils, though she made no apparent effort to join him in his directionless charade. Beside her, Tooru laid fast asleep. As the youngest, he was always a little slower and cried a lot more often, especially if the two weren’t beside him when he woke up from his afternoon naps.

“I guess twenty days is still a pretty big difference at this age,” Mr. Setoguchi hummed. He shot Mrs. Iwaizumi a glance through the side of his eyes. “Hajime-kun really looks like your husband, you know?”

“He acts like him too,” she said. “Look at him, already such a monkey. But why isn’t Yua-chan joining in?”

“Could she be guarding Tooru?” Mrs. Oikawa theorized with a gleeful flash in her eyes.

Almost as if on cue, Yua’s head tilted down to stare at Tooru, who had grabbed onto her leg in his sleep and began rubbing his drool all over her onesie.

He looked so peaceful.

“What a sweet moment,” Mrs. Iwaizumi whispered, afraid that any loud noise might shatter the scene before her eyes.

“Hold on, I’ll go grab the camera,” Mr. Oikawa steadily sneaked up from his spot.

But as soon as he rounded the corner and disappeared into the hallways, Yua suddenly raised her hand into the air and smacked Tooru on the cheek, causing the startled child to erupt into tears.

“Yua!” Mrs. Setoguchi attempted to scold her daughter as if the infant could understand anything she’d say.

Then, as if drawn by the sound of Oikawa crying, Hajime took a sharp turn from the bookcase. He suddenly came charging back on all fours, practically headbutting into Yua, who immediately lost her balance and fell onto Tooru.

Needless to say, that incident resulted in a lot of crying from all three involved.

**_***_ **

_Natori City, Miyagi Prefecture. Three families lived within walking distance of each other, though they never talked much. Strangely, all three were expecting a child around the same time. With that simple commonality, the mothers grew close, tying the families together._

_On June 10th, Iwaizumi Hajime was born as the first and only child of his family. His name, Hajime, meant ‘the first; the beginning.’_

_Twenty days later, on July 1st, I, Setoguchi Yua, was born. I was an only child for a while until I got a younger brother a few years down the line. My name, Yua, meant ‘the love that binds.’_

_Coincidentally, another twenty days later, on July 20th, Oikawa Tooru was born as the youngest in his family with a sister about eleven years older than him. His name, Tooru, meant to ‘to see through; the end.’_

_The Beginning, the Bind, and the End._

**_***_ **

“Where could he be?” Yua wondered out loud as she parted the leaves to a nearby bush. Not too far away from her, Hajime was checking underneath the slides to make sure they didn’t miss anything.

It was just another round of hide-and-seek, a simple game they’d play whenever Mrs. Oikawa took Tooru’s older sister, and consequently Tooru, Hajime, and Yua, to the local community centre for ballet classes. While the older girl spent her time doing pliés and jetés, the three children, each barely 4-years-old, would disperse at the fenced-off playground, two of whom were determined to hide from the one unlucky child who was chosen as the seeker.

On that day, after another bout of rock-paper-scissors, Hajime was chosen as the seeker.

He was quick to find Yua, who had a habit of hiding in the tree branches like a monkey. But by the time the sun was beginning to set across the horizon, and it seemed about time for Mrs. Oikawa to come looking for them, they still hadn't found Tooru yet.

It was weird because the boy was the worst at hide-and-seek, given that he was the youngest and arguably the clumsiest.

Hajime and Yua checked his usual hiding spots. Under the slides, in the bushes, beneath the water fountain. But there was no sign of the boy.

“What should we do, Hajime?” Yua asked as they regrouped at the centre of the playground. “Should we ask Tooru’s mom for help?”

Hajime had a hand to his chin, seemingly lost in thought. But all of a sudden, his olive-coloured eyes brightened, reflecting the burning sunset across the horizon.

“I think I know where he is,” he murmured.

“Huh?”

“Follow me!”

Without another explanation, Hajime took off in the direction of the volleyball gym, with Yua following close behind.

The gym was large but empty, with the junior volleyball lessons having ended less than thirty minutes ago. Hajime hurried towards the storage room and began knocking on the metal doors.

“Hey! Stupidkawa! Are you in there?”

“I-Iwa-chan...?” There was the sound of fumbling within, and the voice that came back was shaky and a little uncertain, but there was no doubt that it belonged to the boy in question.

“Tooru?!” Yua shouted, pressing her palms against the door as if she could somehow reach him and pull him out like that. 

At the sound of her voice, Tooru began to cry.

“Setocchi! Iwa-chan! Help!” He wailed from within the storage room. “I got locked in here after the big kids finished their class!”

“C-Calm down, Tooru,” Yua almost didn’t know what to say. “We’ll go to the front desk and get the keys, okay? Stay here!”

“H-Hurry…” He sniffled.

As Hajime and Yua raced off in search of a staff member who could help open the storage room doors, Yua couldn’t help but ask the boy: “How did you know Tooru was in there?”

“That guy’s always staring at the big kids in that gym whenever we play hide-and-seek,” Hajime said. “I thought if he wasn’t where he usually was, he probably went in and got stuck in there somewhere.”

Yua hummed, mildly impressed by Hajime’s observation skills. She hadn’t noticed that at all. It always felt like Hajime had near psychic abilities when he had to play the role of the seeker. No matter what new strategies she and Tooru would try and come up with, Hajime could always find them within a day’s time.

Nevertheless, when they finally found someone to open up the volleyball gym’s storage room, Tooru practically pounced on his two friends, soaking their shirts through with his snot and tears.

**_***_ **

_The three of us grew up together like that, always chasing after one another in the game of life. Once we got old enough to stomp around on our own, we spent our days wandering the neighbourhood like a group of wild children. The neighbours would always talk about how if they saw one of us, the other two would surely be not far behind. Hajime holding his bug net and carrying his plastic box, me nibbling on a popsicle from the local convenience store, and Oikawa practicing with an old, worn-down volleyball._

_Volleyball originally started out as just another after-school activity. Our parents enrolled all three of us in an abundance of them in the hopes of preventing us from turning into the trouble-making trio of the neighbourhood. But volleyball quickly stood out from the rest, and by the time we were in elementary school, Tooru managed to convince us to join the school’s co-ed volleyball team._

***

“It’s coming!” One of the girls on the team shouted, backing up slightly to gauge the ball’s trajectory.

The opposing team’s spiker leapt into the air as if he were carried by the wind at his feet. Reeling his hand back, he slammed the ball down with unbelievable force, forcing it towards the ground faster than the eye could process. But just when it looked like the white leather surface was about to touch the gym floor, there was a flash of black.

Yua, dressed in her inverted-colour jersey, dove for the ball. 

“Tooru!” She shouted, holding her chest up high to prevent her chin from scraping against the polished gym floors.

“Nice save, Setocchi!” Tooru lined himself up beneath and gauged the court with his peripheral. “Iwa-chan!”

Then, as if everything was a pre-synchronized routine, Hajime ran up to the net and jumped. He pulled his hand back and completed their perfect combination with a spike that blew past the opposing team’s blockers. The crowd erupted into cheers, in which all three of their families could be heard, screaming out their children’s names in a rhythmed chant.

**_***_ **

_Both Tooru and Hajime fell in love with volleyball. And for a while, I honestly thought I did too._

_But when middle school rolled around, that rush of excitement quickly began to fade into a dull trickle. It all started when I was separated from Tooru and Hajime on the court, seeing that middle school was when the teams were strictly divided between the boy’s and girl’s teams._

_That was when volleyball stopped becoming fun._

_The early-morning practices I used to look forward to so much felt like a chore to attend. Team-bonding experiences felt stale, especially when my teammates would shoot me looks of disdain._

_“You are nothing without those two,” is what they would say._

_Sure enough, none of our moves synced up. Certainly nothing like how they did when I played with Tooru and Hajime, so I was taken off the starting team for a more ‘agreeable libero.’_

_It was then I realized, what I fell in love with wasn’t volleyball - the sport, but volleyball - when I got to play with my childhood friends._

_There was a particular thrill to it. Especially when the three of us would simultaneously carry out all three touches our team was allowed. It felt like the entire world was watching us. Like our little bubble was the centre of the universe, and that’s all that ever mattered._

_So in my second year of middle school, I quit the girl’s volleyball team to join the boys as their manager._

**_***_ **

On a cold December afternoon, three middle-school students from Kitagawa Daiichi Junior High walked down the same ol’ path they’ve travelled for arguably all their lives. The air was dry, and their faces were flushed red despite being wrapped up in layers of scarves and coats. It seemed like nothing could shield their skins from the chilly breeze that kept whisking by from the nearby fields and riverbank.

“Ahh, I’m tired,” Tooru stretched his arms into the air. “Volleyball is tiring, but at least it’s fun.”

“It’s your fault for choosing to keep playing volleyball during examination hell,” Iwaizumi grumbled, throwing his white canvas bag over his shoulder like a hook.

“Why are you even going to weekend cram school with us, Tooru?” Readjusting the red scarf around her neck, Yua asked. “Didn’t you get _multiple_ volleyball scholarships to _multiple_ different schools?”

Tooru hummed a little as he balanced his steps along the sidewalk ledges that lined the concrete streets. “I guess I just wanted to see you two suffer,” he looked back with a mischievous expression only to be met with a raised brow from Yua and a death glare from Hajime.

“You really have a trash personality, Trashykawa,” the latter said.

“I’m just kidding, I’m just kidding,” Tooru frantically waved his hands as he hopped down from the ledge. “I guess I just wanted to make sure I get into the school of my choice?” He tapped a finger to his chin. “I mean, they could always pull me out of my scholarship if I fail the entrance exams, right? Better be safe than sorry.”

“Can you at least try to be honest with us?” Yua huffed, the moisture in her breath colliding with the cold air to create a puff of white.

“Geh,” Tooru looked a little shocked that his childhood friend of fourteen years would be able to pick-up on his ulterior motives so easily, but he gave way nonetheless. “Alright, alright,” his lips screwed to the side. “I just wanna make sure we all make it in,” he said with an earnest, albeit shy smile. “The three of us, together.”

“Why wouldn’t we?” Hajime looked a little confused. “I mean, _my_ grades are just fine. The guidance counsellor said I’ll probably get into Aoba Johsai with no problem.”

However, with his mindless comment, Tooru began to panic. Pressing his index finger against his lips, he made a shushing motion. “Iwa-chan,” he whispered. “Have you no delicacy?”

“Huh?” Hajime cocked his head to the side, only to finally notice the deadpanned stare Yua was giving him through half-lidded eyes. “Ah, I mean, I-uh…” He looked around, struggling to decide between whether or not he wanted to comfort the girl or encourage her.

“It’s fine.” But before he could fully gather his thoughts to formulate a response, Yua looked away with a slight chuckle, partially amused by his reaction. “I’ll make it in. And when I do,” she met their unwavering gazes head-on. “I’ll apply to be your club manager again, alright?”

At that simple proposition, Tooru and Hajime exchanged an indecipherable glance.

“That’s fine and all,” Hajime pressed his lips together. “But are you sure you don’t wanna try joining a different club? You already deal with this dumbass on a daily basis,” he pointed at Tooru without hesitation. “There’s nothing wrong with taking a break from time to time.”

“Hey! That was mean, Iwa-chan!” Tooru was quick to complain. “If you already have such a foul mouth in middle school, what’s gonna happen once we get to high school?!”

“But you deal with him on a daily basis too.”

“Why are you agreeing with him?!”

“Besides,” ignoring Tooru’s outburst, Yua proceeded to smile softly at both of them. “I _want_ to stay with you two.”

**_***_ **

**_You are nothing without those two._ **

_In a sense, they were right._

_The world is divided into two different types of people. On one hand, there were people like Tooru and Hajime - people who had a passion in life, a drive and aching motivation to achieve. On the other hand, there were people like me - who simply didn’t. While some people wouldn’t care, I, for one, always felt a twinge of envy towards those who did._

_It was as if they could see a world even further beyond us. A world in which my eyes were too humble and blinded by normalcy to see. As if all their hard work, passion and dedication had built them a tower to stand upon, one where they could overlook an otherworldly scenery in which I could never._

_And even if it was just a little, I wanted to see it alongside them._

_Getting into Aoba Johsai was difficult, but after several weeks of cram school and sleepless nights, I managed to pass the entrance exams, gaining my rite of passage as a student of the school._

_I still remember that day very clearly._

_Standing in the snow, all three of our families went out together in the hopes of catching the results of the entrance exam, just as they were being posted outside the metal gates of the school. When Tooru finally managed to spot my exam number, near the middle-bottom of the list, he jumped for joy. He grabbed onto me by the neck and began shaking me so much I could barely even confirm my exam number for myself. Hajime seemed to be in a good mood too. Because instead of scolding or yelling at Tooru for acting out in public like he usually did, he simply laughed along, patting me on the back with so much force I thought I’d topple over._

_I guess, in a way, they were even more worried than I was. That I somehow wouldn’t make it in._

_Afterwards, the three of our families went out to celebrate with Italian food. A rare treat of luxury, usually only reserved for our birthdays._

_As promised, after getting into high school, I volunteered to be the team manager of the Aoba Johsai Boy’s Volleyball Club. And for the most part, my duties remained the same. Passing out water bottles, washing the mesh pinnies and team uniforms, taking notes on our player’s as well as our opponent’s conditions. But against my wishes, a new responsibility was added to the list. Though I couldn’t quite tell if that was because of my role as the team manager or my place as Tooru’s childhood friend._

**_***_ **

“Stay away from Oikawa-san.”

Yua stood at the back of the school, arms folded over her chest as she listened to the group of strangers speak. She had been called out yet again. Even if it weren’t exam season, she still found the random notes and unknown text messages somewhat irritating. How did they even have her number anyways?

“And?” She raised an eyebrow, sensing that her conversation partner was waiting on a response. “Why should I do that?”

“You’re always stuck to his side like a leech,” one of the girls narrowed her eyes disapprovingly. “Don’t you think you’re a bother to him?”

“If Tooru thinks I’m bothering him, he’ll say it straight to my face,” Yua sighed as her arms fell to her side. “Stop acting like you’re his representative.”

“Are you just talking back right now because you’re friends with him?”

Yua mentally cringed at what she was about to say. “No,” she took a step closer, “I’m talking back because I’m his girlfriend.”

“What?” They looked absolutely shell-shocked.

“You’re… Oikawa-san’s girlfriend?”

“What?” Yua cocked her head. “Need me to repeat that?”

One of the girls gritted her teeth, the frustration evident in her expression. “That’s impossible. There’s no way Oikawa-san would date someone like you.” 

That word seemed to strike a minor chord with Yua as she averted her gaze to the side. Then, closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “Deny it all you want, but it’s the truth,” she shifted her attention back to them, only for a crude smirk to tug at her lips. “What? Do you want me to tell you what he’s like in bed?”

A visible chill ran through the girls as Yua continued to brisk forward, the smile never leaving her features. “So, if anything, that should be my line,” she leaned forward to whisper in one of the girl’s ears. “From one girl to another, stay away from Tooru. He already has someone in his heart. Understood?”

Leaning back, she managed to catch a brief glimpse of one of the girls and her flabbergasted expression before it distorted into irritation. There was a glint of red in her eyes as she reached out.

“You little-”

“Setocchi!” But before she could successfully grab Yua by the collar, Tooru’s voice echoed out from the backdoor of the volleyball gym. “There you are!”

Yua quickly took a step away from the girl before peering over her shoulder at her childhood friend, who proceeded to jog over. “There you are,” the expression on his face was soft. As if he really were greeting his lover. “I thought you said you’d wait for me by the school gates.”

“They called me out,” Yua replied, gesturing to the three girls before her.

“Oh, Hirigaya-san, Oeda-san, Kazamaki-san,” he flashed them his usual charming smiling. “Was there something you needed from my girlfriend?”

“O-Oh,” Hirigaya appeared taken aback, but she quickly recomposed herself and shook her head. “No… It’s nothing…”

“Oikawa-san!” Kazamaki couldn’t hold back. “Are you really dating her?”

“Hm? You mean Setocchi?” Tooru shot a brief glance towards Yua’s neutral expression. Then, with a light-hearted hum, he threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled the girl close. “Yep! We are dating.”

After that simple declaration, the three girls seemed to back off, finally allowing Tooru and Yua to go on their merry way.

“But wow, you were really harsh on them, Setocchi,” Tooru mused with his arms behind his head. “I didn’t think something so vulgar could come out of your mouth.”

Yua’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance. “If you were already listening in, you should’ve stepped in earlier.”

“Sorry, sorry,” Tooru laughed a little. “It was just way too entertaining. So?” He leaned in, purposefully intruding on her peripheral vision. “What were you gonna tell them if they asked how I’m like in bed?”

Yua met his gaze with half-lidded eyes. “I would’ve told them you liked being smacked across the face,” she said, the corners of her lips quirking upwards as Tooru’s expression suddenly turned wide-eyed. “I would’ve told them you cry a lot, and you often peed yourself-”

“Okay, okay, stop!” Waving his hands, Tooru curled up like a pill bug in his own embarrassment. “If you told them that, my image would’ve been completely ruined!”

“Then next time, jump in the moment you get there,” Yua’s shoulders relaxed, somewhat appeased by her brief revenge. “So? Where’s Hajime?”

“It’s Iwa-chan’s turn on class duties today,” Tooru peeked up from his arms.

“What about Hanamaki and Matsukawa?”

“They said they’re gonna go home to change first. They’ll meet us at the usual ramen spot later.”

Yua hummed, not seeming particularly happy nor upset about the news. Turning on her heel, she continued to walk along the riverbank, relying on her senses and peripheral vision to see that Tooru has now caught up, walking only a few steps behind her.

There was a small silence between them before she finally spoke up.

“So, when are we ending this whole charade?”

“H-Huh?!” Tooru was taken by surprise at her sudden question. “What are you talking about?”

“This whole ‘pretending to be your girlfriend’ thing,” Yua glanced over her shoulder. “Those three might know the truth, but nobody else does. I have people I like too, Tooru. I can’t keep covering for you like this.”

“Ehh?! You have someone you like?”

“Don’t change the topic.”

“No, but who? Who is it? Is it someone from your class? Someone on the volleyball team?”

Yua’s brows knitted together as she debated on whether or not to tell her nosy childhood friend.

“Okazaki Kotomi,” she eventually caved, unable to endure his sparkling, expectant gaze. 

“Okazaki?” Tooru blanked out for a moment. “Okazaki, Okazaki… Ah! You mean the president of the music club?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, but she’s-”

“-a girl,” Yua raised an eyebrow. “And?”

Tooru blinked in surprise, but a cheeky grin soon overtook the shock as he hummed. “So you’re a homo-”

“Says you.” Already expecting his subsequent response, Yua cut him off dryly.

“Ah,” Tooru’s lips parted, reverting back to a dumbfounded expression. “You knew?”

“Of course.”

“Since when?!”

“Since we were in kindergarten.”

Tooru halted in his steps, causing Yua to stop as well. “That early on?” He murmured, eyes wide.

Yua sighed. “I don’t know if you remember this,” she turned to face him, “but when we were little, you’d always whine about how much you hated playing house. The teachers would ask you why, and you’d just say that it’s because everyone wanted to be Hajime’s wife. No one else understood why you were so irritated,” she huffed out a laugh. “But I pretty much knew right away.”

She looked directly at him.

“You have feelings for Hajime, right?”

A gentle breeze whisked by, and for a moment, Yua didn’t know what to make of Tooru’s expression. His large brown eyes were swimming with various emotions. Relief, joy, perhaps a little bit of embarrassment, and even a tinge of sadness. His slack-jawed mouth tightened, and his lips pressed into a thin line. For a second, Yua thought she saw his pupils dilate and glaze over with tears, but Tooru was quick to double over, hiding his face in his knees. He covered his hands over his head as if it were a further attempt to bury himself away from her gaze. 

Yua chuckled at his display. Slowly, she crouched down beside him. “It’s obvious-”

“No, it’s not!” Stubborn as ever, Tooru was quick to protest as he whipped his head up from his knees, the smudged tears already staining the corner of his eyes. “Iwa-chan hasn’t figured it out yet!”

Though she was initially startled by his sudden outburst, Yua’s expression quickly dropped to a deadpan. “Hajime is too dense to figure _anything_ out,” she said.

_Even his own feelings._

“That’s true…” Tooru sniffled, aggressively rubbing his nose to rid himself of the incoming snot.

“Goodness gracious,” Yua’s eyes crinkled softly as she helped Tooru to wipe away some of the tears that began to gather at the corner of his eyes. “Even after all these years, you’re still such a crybaby.”

“No, I’m not!”

“So?” Ignoring his baseless protests, Yua cocked her head to the side. “Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? Or are you afraid of your parents rejecting you?”

“No,” Pressing his lips together, Tooru’s eyes flickered down to his feet. “I’m pretty sure they’d be fine with it.”

“Then why?”

“Because Iwa-chan doesn’t feel the same way,” Tooru said with a mixture of longing and melancholy laced within his voice. “It’s an unrequited love.”

Yua’s eyes grew wide. Her lips parted, but her voice wouldn’t come out.

“Oh,” was all she could say.

The sound of the river water folding onto itself could be heard in the distance.

“But it’s fine,” not noticing her troubled expression, Tooru let out a small breath as he began stretching out his legs, standing to his full height. “I’m pretty sure it’ll go away soon,” he smiled down at her. “I’ve liked him for so long, after all.”

In the face of that beautiful, dazzling smile, Yua wanted to cry.

“Probably.” Suppressing that urge, Yua stood up as well. Her cheeks felt hot against the cool breeze, but she made an effort not to shiver. “We should probably get going,” she suggested. “If Hanamaki and Matsukawa somehow get there before us, they’re gonna make fun of us.”

“That’s true,” Tooru’s laugh was crisp, like a bell ringing in the air.

And with that, they were back on the road.

Yua kept her head down, deeply lost in thought. But even in her chaotic state of mind, she could clearly hear Tooru’s hum in content.

“You’re the best, Setocchi.”

**_***_ **

_I knew._

_I knew what kind of feelings Tooru had for Hajime. And I knew Hajime returned them, subconsciously or not._

_But at that moment, I chose to say nothing._

_From the very beginning, I was already living vicariously through those two. By standing by their side, I was able to see things that I, as someone with no passion or ambition, could ever dream of. To stand on the peak of the summit and see the world from a breathtaking perspective. So for them to come to terms with their feelings for each other also meant I’d lose access to that spectacular view. They’d eventually realize that between the two of them, there was no room for me. And from there, I’d fall, back to the foot of the mountain where I could only stare up in envy._

_So selfishly, I kept my mouth shut in the hopes of preserving that delusional world for just a little while longer._

_Time slipped through our fingers like sand, and three years went by in the blink of an eye. Even in our final year, we couldn’t make it to nationals after losing in the Spring Interhigh preliminaries against the revived champions Karasuno Highschool in the semifinals. Tooru, Hajime and I even went to watch the final five-set match they played against Shiratorizawa, in which they won with a score of 3:2._

_But even after the Spring Interhigh preliminaries, Tooru never stopped playing volleyball. And his hard work was finally rewarded when he was chosen to be a part of the Japan National Youth team, set to leave for Tokyo immediately after graduation. Hajime and I also applied to universities in Tokyo, seeing as that’s where most of the best schools were._

_No, that’s all just an excuse._

_The truth was that we just wanted to stick close to Tooru._

_Because the three of us were always together. From the moment we were born._

_Hanamaki and Matsukawa also followed, though mostly for practical reasons, unlike us._

_So after graduation, all five of us moved out to Tokyo._

_After another bout of intense study sessions and caffeine-supported nights, I managed to get into Soka University, majoring in business while Hajime and Matsukawa got into the much more prestigious University of Tokyo, majoring in Sports Medicine and Kinesiology respectively. Hanamaki didn’t choose to go into university, instead opting to join the workforce as an apprentice hairstylist._

_One year into our time in Tokyo, when I just about turned 20-years-old, I met Koji Masaru at a college mixer. We hit it off right away and ended up sleeping together at some random hotel I can’t even remember the name of. While it was a purely physical relationship at first and we didn’t start officially dating until much later, Tooru and Hajime were already trying to convince me that he wasn’t worth half my time._

_Then, the summer when the three of us were set to turn 21, something horrible happened._

_Oikawa Tooru severely injured his right knee right before his debut at Japan Nationals._

_Mine and Hajime’s birthday celebrations were immediately put on hold, and our entire summer break went into dedicating ourselves to tend to Tooru. We took turns bringing him food, cleaning his place up, keeping him company, and driving him between his apartment to the hospital for physiotherapy. By the end of July, Tooru was finally improving to the point where he was well enough to move around independently._

_Overjoyed, the three of us agreed to meet up at a local Italian restaurant for old time’s sake, not only to celebrate Tooru’s rapid recovery but also his 21st birthday._

_But Tooru never showed up._

**_***_ **

Yua kept her eyes glued to the cherry wood door, squinting slightly so she could make out the passing figures through the tinted glass. The clock was just about to tick over to 11 p.m., and there was still no sign of Tooru. She peered over at Hajime, who once again flipped his phone over to check for incoming messages.

“Where is he?” She heard him hiss under his breath.

Both of them already tried ringing Tooru’s cellphone, but for some reason, their calls always went straight to voicemail. It seemed like Tooru purposely turned his phone off. As if to avoid their calls. Nevertheless, they tried leaving a few voicemails each, some angry ones from Hajime and some concerned ones from Yua. They both texted and called Hanamaki and Matsukawa, but neither of them had a clue about what was going on.

“Excuse me,” one of the waitresses came up to them for possibly the fifth time that evening. “I know you’re still waiting on someone, but I really need to take your order. You’ve been sitting here for almost six hours. I can’t let you hog up a spot like this.”

“Sorry,” Yua murmured, her gaze briefly flickering to the two glasses of white wine they bought out of courtesy and a time-staller. “Sorry, but can you just-”

“Just order,” Hajime said, a sense of defeat dragging his words.

“Huh?” Yua looked at him.

“Just order.” His leg bounced anxiously under the table. “I’ll have a spinach ravioli, she’ll have a linguine with shrimp scampi, and…” He instinctively turned towards the empty seat of the table, only to stop mid-sentence. “And get us a fusilli with asiago cheese.”

“But sir-”

“Just do it,” his tone left no room for argument. And the waitress shot Yua a confused glance, and she just nodded, signalling for her to do as Hajime said.

As she hurried off to put in the order, Yua shifted her attention back to Hajime, watching as he downed his glass of wine in one swig.

“I swear to god,” he slammed the glass back down onto the table, with so much force, Yua was afraid it would break. “Even if he doesn’t show tonight, the next time I see him, I’m gonna kick his ass.”

“Yeah,” she managed a laugh. Hoping that it’d somehow ease up the tense atmosphere. “And I probably won’t stop you when that time comes,” she said as she shifted her attention back to the restaurant door, praying that by some god-given miracle, Tooru would walk-in with his usual playful attitude. 

**_***_ **

_Hajime drank himself silly that night, so much so I had to call Matsukawa, and the two of us worked together to carry him back to their shared apartment._

_Neither of us were brave enough to mention, or even consider the possibility._

_But we never saw Tooru again._

_At first, we thought this was just a weird tantrum he was throwing and tried visiting his apartment the next day, even though Hajime had a raging hangover. But when we knocked on the door, nobody answered. It wasn’t until one of his neighbours came out of their place to ask what all the fuss was about, did we learn that Tooru already moved out a few days ago._

_We then tried contacting Tooru’s parents and even his sister to see if they could give us any leads to where he ran off to, but he apparently ceased all communications with them as well._

_And just like that, Oikawa Tooru disappeared off the face of the earth._

_In the next school year, despite only having one more year left until he completed his undergraduate degree, Hajime dropped out of university and began pursuing a career in photography instead. He managed to get a job as the apprentice of a well-known mountain photographer who happened to live within the area._

_Thanks to his new job, Hajime began travelling all around the world, taking pictures of mountains and rivers. But despite his irregular schedule, we did everything we could to stay in touch. Text messages, postcards, even the occasional video call. And whenever he was back in town, we always made sure to grab lunch or dinner and catch up._

_I never asked him for the reason for his sudden career change. I don’t think Hajime himself even knew why until he actually started developing a love for photography. But I always had a theory that perhaps he was using work as an excuse to continue his search, that he was hoping by some miracle, he’d manage to find Tooru, hiding away in some corner of this universe._

_Just like how he’d always be able to find us, whenever we played hide-and-seek._

_There were times when I wondered if things would’ve gone differently if I had just told Tooru about Hajime’s feelings. Perhaps one of the reasons why he left was because he couldn’t endure the pain of staying next to the one he believed he had unrequited feelings for. Perhaps knowing the truth would’ve given him a reason to stay._

_Perhaps losing Tooru was my punishment for being selfish._

_But even if those thoughts continued to linger, time continued to flow like the river in our hometown. Before we knew it, four years had passed._

_Little by little, we grew up._

_I graduated from university and got an office job at some big corporation, working as just another cog in the machine of society. Masaru finally decided to give a proper relationship a shot not long after Tooru’s disappearance, but we broke up after three years. After struggling with what to do about rent, I ended up moving in with Hajime._

_As I grew and matured, thoughts like passion and ambition stopped bothering me to a certain extent. The desire to see that special view began to settle down, and I found myself simply grateful for those that I could surround myself with on a day-to-day basis._

_ Hajime was pretty much the same. He continued working under that same photographer as his assistant, though he did mention he had plans of going solo soon. He moved out of his shared-apartment with Matsukawa and got his own place. Until I ended up moving in, that is. Even though he never came to terms with the feelings he had for Tooru, he never got into a relationship during those four years. _

_Hanamaki became a fully-fledged hairdresser, while Matsukawa graduated university with a bachelor’s in medicine and began interning at a local hospital as a physiotherapist._

_Also, every year on Tooru’s birthday, Hajime and I would return to that same Italian restaurant. We’d order a spinach ravioli, a linguine with shrimp scampi, and a fusilli with asiago cheese, then proceed to wait around until the restaurant closed at midnight._

_Needless to say, he never showed up._

_Then the summer we’d turn 25 came._

**_***_ **

Yua hummed along with the light tune that played from the radio, shifting her weight from one foot to the other as she focused on putting together her lunch sandwich. It had been six months since her break up with Masaru, and as far as she was aware, the day was just another typical Sunday afternoon. One where she had the house to herself considering Hajime was off on another two-week-long photography trip.

Just as she reached for an egg to crack into the frying pan, the sound of the home phone ringing took her by surprise. Lightly clicking her tongue, she glanced over at the handset screen, raising an eyebrow when she spotted Hajime’s cell number on display.

“What’s up?” Clipping the phone between her cheek and her shoulder, Yua spoke into the microphone. “Did you forget my phone number or something-?”

“Hello?” However, what came back wasn’t Hajime’s familiar deep voice but someone else’s softer one.

Yua jumped. “Hi, sorry,” she quickly set the egg down and grabbed the phone with both hands, switching it to her other ear. “Who is this?”

“This is Nishikori Ryuga,” the voice replied. “I’m Iwaizumi-kun’s boss. Are you… his girlfriend?”

“No, I’m his roommate,” her brows furrowed. “My name is Setoguchi Yua.”

“Ah, I see,” Nishikori hesitated. “I wouldn’t suppose you’d know how to contact Iwaizumi-kun’s family, would you?”

“His family is in Miyagi,” Yua felt her limbs begin to tense. “I’m his childhood friend. I’m basically like family to him. Did something happen?”

“Well,” the man on the other end of the phone took a deep breath. “Iwaizumi-kun had a bit of an accident during our last mountain climb.”

“What?!” Yua’s voice came out louder than she would’ve liked. She quickly cleared her throat, hoping it’d help recompose herself. “Is he okay? Where is he now?”

“We immediately got him to a hospital to receive treatment. He’ll be fine, but we’re gonna prematurely end this expedition due to his injuries.” There was some shuffling on his end. “We’ll be flying in on the evening flight tonight at 6:35 p.m. Do you think you can come and pick him up?”

“Yes, of course.” Pulling over a notepad, Yua quickly wrote down the time of the incoming flight. “Which airline?”

“Japan Air.”

“Okay, got it.” Despite her trembling hands, Yua forced herself to remain calm. “I’ll see you then.”

**_***_ **

Hajime grunted as he carried himself past the airport gate on crutches. He was just grateful that Nishikori was kind enough to help him carry his bags while he focused on getting around safely. His leg was in pain, and his body was exhausted. All he wanted to do was head back to his apartment and crash on the bed. Though he did mentally ponder over how he would explain to Yua how he got these injuries.

“Iwaizumi-kun, just stay put,” Nishikori said.

“No, it’s okay,” Hajime shook his head. “I can take it from here. Thank you very much-”

“Hajime!” But before he could finish his sentence, Yua’s familiar voice boomed out from behind. She sounded so distraught. The only other time he’s heard her like this was when they first visited Tooru after his major injury four years ago. He snapped his head around, watching as his childhood friend frantically weaved through the crowd to reach him.

“Oh my god,” her eyes were glued to his walking boot. “Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

Hajime’s eyes crinkled, and he huffed out a breath through his nose. “I’m fine,” he told her.

“You must be Setoguchi-san,” Nishikori gave a quick bow, and Yua returned the gesture. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too, Nishikori-san. Thank you for taking care of Hajime.”

“No problem,” Nishikori awkwardly scratched the back of his head. “It was my fault for asking Iwaizumi-kun to go on that trip in the first place. I knew the dangers, but the view of the mountains was just so tempting,” he admitted somewhat guiltily.

“I know that feeling,” Yua’s eyes dulled a little.

“Anyways, here are his things,” he shifted his body to the side, dropping down the extra hiking backpack Yua didn’t realize he was carrying before also rolling a small suitcase in her direction. “And here are his travel papers and a report from the hospital.”

Yua threaded her arm through the handle of her purse, hoisting it over her shoulder just enough so she could slide Hajime’s worn-down hiking backpack over. It was cumbersome, so much so she almost toppled over from the unexpected weight. How the hell did Hajime carry this stuff up and down a mountain?

Once she managed to rebalance her centre, she reached for the suitcase and documents from Nishikori’s patiently waiting hands. “Alright,” she briefly skimmed through them, spotting the words ‘ankle joint fracture’ encased in a big red circle. “Holy shit,” she cursed under her breath, briefly shooting Hajime a questioning glance to which he avoided with his lips tightened into a line.

“Thank you very much, Nishikori-san,” Clipping the documents under her arm, Yua then gave a sincere bow in the man’s direction. “I’ll take it from here.”

“Yeah,” Nishikori smiled wryly.

“Thank you, sir,” Haime’s voice was laced with a twinge of guilt. “I’m really sorry about this-”

“No, no,” the man waved. “If anything, I should be apologizing. Go rest up, Iwaizumi-kun.”

Hajime’s gaze flickered a little, so Yua stayed put, expecting him to say something. And sure enough, he did.

“Nishikori-san,” he called out to the man who hummed in response. “I was gonna tell you after this expedition, but I guess I’ll just tell you now.” He looked his boss directly in the eye. “Once fall rolls around, I’m planning on going solo as a photographer. Thank you for everything you’ve taught me up until now.” Despite his boot and crutches, Hajime tried to lower his head while Nishikori was left wide-eyed and flabbergasted.

“You really dropped the bomb on him.” Now back in the car and on the road home, Yua voiced her thoughts out loud to Hajime, who sat in the passenger’s seat.

“Well, I’ve been planning this for a while now,” he said. “I just never had a chance to tell him.”

“Fair enough.” As they stopped at a red light of an intersection, Yua finally had some time to look at him. “So?” She studied him in the faint rays of the city streetlights. “Wanna explain how you managed to fall and fracture your ankle?”

Hajime’s mouth tightened and he turned away from her gaze. Yua couldn’t tell if he was about to laugh or frown. “I got distracted,” he muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

“By?”

“By the mountains…”

Yua raised an eyebrow. “Hajime, you take pictures of beautiful pictures of mountains and rivers for a _living_. You’re gonna need to try a little harder if you wanna convince me _that's_ what got you distracted.”

Hajime briefly glanced at her deadpan expression. “I just thought,” his face quickly turned solemn as the thoughts that crossed his mind as he stood on the peak of that summit returned to him. “ _That guy would’ve probably loved to see this view_.”

Yua’s lips parted.

“I thought you hated him.”

“I do,” he admitted without missing a beat, “I despise him.” He then looked out past the dashboard. “Eyes on the road,” he reminded, nudging his chin towards the dimly lit streets.

Heeding his warning, Yua turned back just in time to see the lights turn green. Gently releasing her foot from the brakes, they continued down the road.

“But thanks to that, I lost my footing and fell,” Hajime propped his chin on his hand, watching as the balls of glowing incandescent lights passed in a blur.

Yua hummed, signalling to turn left at the next intersection.

“Hey.” Despite her lack of response, Hajime kept talking. “Do you feel like the three of us were ever dragged down by each other?”

It was subtle, but Yua’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.

“Don’t bring old stuff up,” she said.

“Sorry.”

**_***_ **

Just like that one summer four years ago, Yua dedicated her time to helping Hajime along with his recovery. From cooking and cleaning to taking him to his check-ups at the hospital, it honestly gave her a bit of a déjà vu. But nevertheless, six weeks passed in the blink of an eye. June came and went, and so did half of July. They both decided to keep their birthday celebrations simple, opting to invite Hanamaki and Matsukawa over for dinner and drinks.

They were adults. No need for fancy celebrations complete with invitations and balloons.

By the time Hajime finally got the okay to go into the hospital to get his cast taken off, Tooru’s 25th birthday was encroaching upon them.

**_***_ **

Yua rattled her keys in the rusted lock. After making a mental note to contact the landlord sometime over the weekend about getting it replaced, she twisted her key and opened the door.

“I’m home,” she called out nonchalantly, subconsciously waiting on a reply only for silence to play out.

“Hajime?” A dark thought lingering in the back of her mind. “Hajime?!”

Tossing her heels and purse to the side, she stormed into the apartment in a panic. “Hajime!? Where are you?”

She first checked the couch, where Hajime could usually be found lounging around, probably scrolling through the day’s news on his phone. But when she realized he wasn’t there, Yua’s heart sank into the pit of her stomach.

What if he disappeared too? Just like Tooru did, four years ago?

The thought continued to haunt Yua’s mind as she hurried towards the bedroom door at the furthest end of the hallway. In her state of panic, she nearly tripped over her own feet, only to catch herself against the door. As she steadied herself, she began fumbling to reach the doorknob, throwing the piece of wood open with all her might.

“Hajime!”

Sure enough, there he was. Her childhood friend, sleeping on top of the blankets of the double bed. Eyes closed and mouth wide. At the sight of him, all tension left Yua’s body as well as her strength. She collapsed to her knees, breath ragged and strained. She stared down at the hardwood floor, noticing the light twitching and trembling in her hands. Then, as if it were a delayed reaction, her eyes glazed over with what she could only assume to be tears. 

She was so scared.

After taking a few deep breaths and forcing back the urge to cry, Yua rose to her feet and dragged herself to stand beside Hajime. Reaching down, she flicked him on the forehead.

“Huh?” Hajime jolted at the small but harsh snap. His dazed eyes trailed up, meeting Yua’s mildly irritated glare.

“Oh, hey.” Though he was a little confused by her foul mood, he was quick to greet her. Gently rubbing his eyes, Hajime met her gaze again. “What’s wrong?”

For a moment, Yua didn’t say anything. She simply stared at him, watching as his expression slowly morphed from expectancy to confusion.

“I thought you were gone,” she finally said in a whisper.

Hajime’s eyes widened.

“Oh.”

He slowly sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Yua stepped back to give him some space, watching as he yawned, tuning his body back into reality after that afternoon nap.

“Relax, I won’t do that to you,” Hajime stretched his arms up into the air. “If I leave, I’d definitely tell you first,” he grinned at her in the most reassuring way he knew how.

That made Yua chuckle, though it was still a wry one. “Get up.” Turning on her heel, she made her way towards the wardrobe chest lodged into the corner of the room. “You’re getting your cast off today, remember?”

“Right.” Reaching for his crutches, Hajime hummed with a sense of undeniable excitement. “And my first physio session too.”

“I can’t believe they’re making us drive two towns over just for some special, highly recommended physiotherapist,” Yua grumbled as she rummaged through her clothes, looking for something to wear other than her formal office-wear. “Matsukawa works at the same hospital, right? I’ll text him to see if he wants to get dinner after.”

“M’kay,” Hajime stood up with a light grunt. “Did you have something in mind?”

“Not really. You can decide,” Yua said as she pulled out a simple white t-shirt and denim shorts. She flashed him a soft smile. “It’s your recovery celebration, you know?”

**_***_ **

“Why don’t we just get ramen? It’s easy and cheap.” Hajime suggested as he hobbled past the hospital’s automatic sliding doors. He peered over Yua’s shoulder, skimming through the options listed on her phone screen. “See? There’s a place five minutes from here.”

“Sure,” Yua clicked into the restaurant he was talking about. “I could go for some miso ramen.” Tossing her phone back into her purse, she then reached for his documents. “Want me to go check you in or-”

“Thank you so much, Oikawa-sensei,” the voice of an old lady that rang over the gentle murmurs in the hospital had them both frozen in place. “Here, take these fruits as a thank you from me and my family.”

“No, it’s fine, really.” It was that same crisp laughter. “This is my job. I’m just glad to see you up and about again.”

Yua’s body suddenly weighed like a ton of bricks. It took everything out of her just to lift her head and look in the direction of that familiar voice. The same brown hair, the same outward curl, the same dazzling smile that threatened to reduce her to tears on multiple occasions.

He seemed to notice them as well. Because as his brown eyes flickered over, that smile quickly fell away, replaced with a mixture of emotions she couldn’t quite read.

Hajime trembled beside Yua, the crutches in his hands rattling with an echo of uncertainty. She could see his mouth open and close in her peripheral vision. Like he had a million things to say, but he couldn’t decide which to say first. When the trembling finally stopped, the first expression that spread across his face was a smile. Though it was sad and laced with many emotions, it was a smile nonetheless.

“Your bangs…” His voice choked past his throat. “... it got a bit longer.”

He tossed his crutches to the side and stepped on his broken foot, gingerly reaching a hand towards him. To Yua, it looked like a scene from their childhood. The one where Hajime would spend his days chasing after wacky yet intriguing-looking bugs. They were always so always fleeting. One wrong shuffle meant scaring them to the point where they’d disappear back into the forest, never to be seen again. And as if he were reaching for one of those mystical creatures of their childhood, Hajime desperately wanted to grab hold of Tooru.

As if he were responding to his call, Tooru’s face scrunched up in emotion. He hurried to reach out as well, and the two of them collided in an embrace just as the metal clutches crashed against the vinyl tile floor beside Yua.

She watched, stunned and shell-shocked as the two of them parted slightly, just enough for Hajime to see Tooru’s face. From the sidelines, she could see the tears that already began to stain his cheeks. There was a part of her that wanted to tease him for still being such a crybaby, but that urge was quickly overwhelmed by the surge of emotion that struck her when Tooru finally met her gaze.

Yua often imagined how this moment would go. Between coffee breaks at her tedious, dead-end job. When she laid in the hospital after that car crash, waiting for the possibility of Masaru showing up. Or even the days when she laid on her side, alone in the apartment without the drive or motivation to do anything. The anticipation for this moment was her source of comfort, even when the world threatened to cave in and finally swallow her whole.

She imagined that she’d most likely have to play the voice of reason, just like when they were children. She’d probably let Hajime get a few smacks in before finally pulling them apart, greeting Tooru for the first time in several years and, of course, throwing in a few snide remarks of her own. Then they’d probably go get Italian, or ramen. It didn’t matter. They’d catch up, and she and Hajime would finally learn the reason for his disappearance.

“Setocchi…”

Reality struck her at the sound of Tooru’s croaked voice.

She didn’t even realize it, but Yua soon began walking towards Tooru. One foot in front of another, as if she were possessed.

With a tearstained smile, Tooru reached out towards her.

In response, Yua reeled her hand back-

-and slapped him clean across the face.

It wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t gentle either. It was forceful enough to snap Tooru’s head to the side, but still kept him standing on his feet.

Loud gasps and shouts erupted from the patients and staff in the main lobby, but Yua could only hear her own ragged breathing.

“Why…?”

Tooru’s eyes were wide as he looked back at her, seemingly not knowing what to say.

“Answer me, Tooru.” Her voice was surprisingly calm. “Why?”

“Oikawa-sensei!” One of the nurses shouted from the side, only for someone to stop them with a firm hand on the shoulder.

“Don’t.” Yua heard Matsukawa say, and she turned her attention towards him.

_Did he know?_

With Matsukawa’s appearance, Yua finally became aware of the crowd that gathered since her little outburst. Many were looking at her with hostility. They glared at her with disapproving eyes, as if they had any context or understanding of the situation. Her gaze swept across them, then shifted to Hajime before landing on Tooru.

“Hajime,” she began fumbling through her bag.

He didn’t respond, but Yua kept going nonetheless.

She pulled out his medical files and stuffed them into his hands. “I’ll wait for you in the car.”

With that, she turned on her heel and left. 

**_***_ **

After that incident, Yua locked herself in the bedroom, curled up on the side for the next two days. It was the weekend anyway. No one would judge her.

Hajime came in and out a few times, now well enough to walk around on his own without the support of crutches and a boot. Though the doctors reminded him to still be careful and continue going to physiotherapy until they deem that his ankle was back to its former, pristine condition.

He often came in to talk to her, to tell her where he was going or how his daily conversation with Tooru went. But every time, Yua would just simply hum in response, as if she weren’t really listening to what he had to say.

Then, on July 20th - Tooru’s birthday, Hajime finally got the chance to celebrate with him for the first time in four years. They went to that same Italian restaurant, ordered a spinach ravioli and fusilli with asiago cheese, and caught up on life.

Yua didn’t go.

She didn’t know if it was out of shame or anger, but she felt that she couldn’t bear to see Tooru in the moment, not without losing herself and possibly doing something stupid.

So instead, she opted to lay in bed, curled up on her side while hugging a pillow between her chest and thighs.

In the darkness of the room, she could barely make out the shape of her hand. The one that instinctively raised over her head and slapped Tooru that day at the hospital.

She wondered when  _ she _ became the aggressive one out of their trio. That role always belonged to Hajime as far as she was concerned. He should’ve been the one to lash out, to yell and let out all his pent-upanger, not her.

She thought back to when she was younger. The days she’d spend, following Tooru and Hajime around like a moth drawn to a flame, reeled in by their shining brilliance and passionate spirit. Perhaps she really was a leech, much like Hirigaya described back in the day. 

She extended her arm away from her body, holding it up against the dim city lights that shone past the swaying mesh curtains.

Just a little, she was jealous of her younger self. The one that still had that feeling of desire for something that was too far beyond her reach. The one that still actively clung to Tooru and Hajime in search of something she could never see on her own.

Because now, she was too afraid and uncertain to even chase after that light. 

There was a light knock on the door. And despite there being no response from her end, Hajime walked right in.

Without moving her head, Yua peered at his looming figure, watching as he stalked over to sit down at the edge of the bed.

“You awake?”

Yua set her hand down on the bed as if to tell him she was.

He took a deep breath. “Oikawa asked about you again today.” As usual, he started with this. “He kept asking me if you finally got rid of Koji. When I told him you actually started dating that asshole after a year of hooking-up, he nearly flipped the table,” he stifled a laugh. “He kept yapping on and on about how you were way too good for him and how he was the scum of the earth for even daring to touch you at some third-rate love hotel. I agree, honestly. He was a piece of shit.” He added that part after a moment of thought. “He also asked about your work. And whether or not you were happy with your job. I assume you don’t, considering how much you sigh whenever you get back home.” He cast a side glance towards Yua’s still form. “He then asked about your parents and your brother, and how they were doing.”

Yua bit her bottom lip, wondering what Hajime’s goal was by telling her all this.

There was a brief silence from him as Hajime’s head dropped between his shoulders. He seemed to be contemplating over something.

“I need you to hear me out.” He finally spoke again, resting his hands to his forehead. “I’m thinking of moving out.”

Yua’s eyes widened in the darkness.

“...Why?”

_Why did she even ask?_

“I found a place in Kawasaki, it’s close enough to the hospital Oikawa works, but it’s calm enough where the city life doesn’t feel overwhelming.” He craned his neck towards the darkened ceiling. “Oikawa and I are gonna move in together.”

_She already knew the answer - many, many years ago. Even before the two people in question became aware of each other’s feelings, she already knew this day would come._

“I see,” Yua murmured as she slowly sat up. “Good for you.”

Hajime glanced back at her with a raised brow. “Why do you look so dead inside?”

“Jeez, thanks,” she immediately shot him an irritated glare before averting her eyes out to the glowing city. “I guess you could say I’m just jealous.”

“Jealous?” He looked even more perplexed.

“Well, you two found each other again.” She inhaled through her nose and leaned back against the headboard. “You love him, right?”

“Yeah.” Hajime’s response was blunt.

“Then I’m happy for you two. I really am.” Yua shrugged. “It’s just, not everyone’s life is something straight out of a rom-com, you know?”

Hajime studied her melancholy expression for a moment. “Yua. If you hate that shitty job of yours, just quit.”

Yua was taken aback by this statement.

“Huh?”

“You heard me.”

“Well then, what do you expect me to do?” Her brows furrowed. “Even after you leave, I still need to pay rent, you know?”

“This place’s rent is a lot cheaper than whatever you had before,” Hajime pointed out. “Besides, I’m not saying you should stop working altogether.”

“Then what are you-”

“Why are you acting like our lives right now is the end all be all?”

Hajime’s question was simple but sharp. And it hit Yua right to the core.

“If you hate that shitty job, quit it. If you don’t like some guy or girl you’re dating, dump ‘em. Nothing’s telling you you gotta stick to it. We’ve only lived about a quarter of our lives at this point. Anything can still change. I mean, Oikawa changed all our lives by disappearing four years ago.” He closed his eyes. “He could disappear again tomorrow, for all I know.”

Yua blinked. “What will you do if _that_ happens?”

“I’ll probably just go off looking for him,” Hajime replied simply. “Because the future I wanna live is the one with him in it. I realize that now.” He laughed a little at his own words. “That sounds so lame once I say it out loud.”

Yua didn’t say anything in response. She could only stare at the awkward yet wistful smile that played at her childhood friend’s lips.

Just like Tooru’s dazzling smile, it made her want to break into tears.

“I see.” After recollecting herself, she finally managed to speak. 

“If you tell that dumbass anything I just said, I’ll bury you.” Hajime suddenly threatened her, causing Yua to chuckle.

“I won’t,” she assured, throwing her legs over the side of the bed and finally standing up. She paced over to the window and pulled the mesh curtains open, allowing the city lights to brighten the room just a little more.

“So?” She peered over her shoulder. “When do you plan on moving?”

**_***_ **

Moving day came along with the beginning of fall. As Yua stood on the balcony of the apartment complex, watching as the moving workers helped Hajime pack his belongings into the moving van, she saw Tooru.

He stood at the front of the complex, staring up in amazement at the building where his two childhood friends spent their time during the four years they were separated. Once he spotted her, the first thing he did wasn’t to recoil or glare at her in vengeance, but to smile. 

His smile reflected the early fall sun as he waved to her.

That was the last straw. Feeling her nose grow sore, Yua turned on her heel and ran out of the apartment.

Tooru was a little nervous at first, seeing the dark-haired girl storm out of the building with a tightened expression. But just as he threw his hands up in the air, Yua wrapped her arms around his torso in an almost suffocating hug.

For a second, he panicked, brown-eyes darting between Hajime and Yua, not knowing what to do. But when Hajime cracked a smile at the scene, Tooru finally began to relax a little. He gingerly wrapped his arm around the young woman, holding her against his chest.

“Welcome back,” she murmured, her throat tightening from the tears that threatened to spill.

“Make sure you wash the dishes,” Hajime said as he stood in front of the moving van. Once everything had finally been tetris'd in, that is. “And stop falling asleep while reading.”

“I could say the same about you,” Yua folded her arms before her chest. “Remember to put the toilet seat down after you take a piss.”

“Alright, alright,” he rolled his eyes.

Tooru snickered at their exchange. “Iwa-chan, you sound like her dad.”

“Hah?” Hajime shot him a menacing glare, and Yua did her best to stifle a chuckle. 

After a little more small talk, the moving drivers finally informed them that they were ready to go.

“Be safe, ‘kay?” Hajime turned to Yua.

“And keep in touch,” Tooru added. “We only live a forty-minute train ride away. So come visit us anytime.”

“Of course,” Yua’s lips quirked upwards. “And you two try not to fight too much, alright? Don’t give the neighbours trouble.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

As the three of them shared a laugh, Tooru’s eyes crinkled. Throwing an arm around each of their shoulders, he pulled them close.

“I missed you guys,” he whispered just loud enough for the both of them to hear.

Closing her eyes, Yua melted into the hug, letting out a soft hum in content.

**_***_ **

The morning after Hajime moved away, Yua found herself lacking the motivation to even roll out of bed. Luckily, it was a Sunday, meaning she didn’t exactly have to. But the lingering memory of her conversation with Hajime had her swivelling her legs over the side of her bed.

For a long time, Setoguchi Yua had always thought that her life would remain at an impasse. Her lack of ambition and direction for the future, combined with her insistence to cling onto her childhood friends, had led her to a dead end.

It’s not as though Yua regretted anything. If she could go back in time, she still wouldn’t stop her younger self from doing so. The days they spent playing hide-and-seek at the local community centre, the hours they’d stay behind in the Aoba Johsai gym, the number of times they've walked up and down that riverbank. All of those days, the tiny droplets that continued to build and gather would forever be some of the most cherished days in her life.

And those memories, no matter how fun, reckless, desperate, wretched, or heartbreaking they may be, will continue to stay fresh in her mind. Even if she was now a fully-fledged adult, one who has to deal with taxes, a full-time job, and the eventual prospect of marriage.

No matter how boring life got from thereon, at least she had those memories to hold onto.

They will forever be a part of her to carry on, like a cicatrice on her skin.

But she never considered the possibility that perhaps, there were still more memories to be made and more encounters to be had.

Unlike Hajime, she didn’t have a clear idea of what she wanted her future to look like just yet. But for once, she was actually looking forward to what it could hold.

So Yua dragged herself out of bed, washed up, put on her contacts and changed her clothes. She made herself a simple breakfast sandwich and turned on the TV, allowing the news to play in the background as she scrolled through her phone. She read through the relatively up-and-coming food blogger - Shirazome Ichika’s blog and learned that a new cafe had recently opened up in her area.

While not usually one for going out to buy her coffee, Yua felt particularly adventurous and inspired that day. So she put on a light jacket, grabbed her wallet and keys, and headed out into the city.

After ordering a drink, she found an open spot amongst the white metal chairs in the outdoor seating area. From there, she watched as the orange and golden foliage swayed in the gentle breeze, threatening to fall if the wind were to blow just a little harder. Crowds of people bustled by, briefly brushing shoulders with one another as they hurried off to their next destination on that busy Sunday morning.

Then, someone called out to her.

“Excuse me.”

Following the source of the voice, Yua met their gaze.

**Author's Note:**

> From here on, Yua's story is now yours to write. Feel free to get involved with this writing challenge and create your continuation of Yua's story by publishing a story (one-shot or series, it doesn't matter) and submitting it through here.
> 
> If you don't feel like writing, you can also find the masterlist to this writing challenge, where you can read other people's contributions here.
> 
> I personally really love and admire Gusari's work, not only as an artist but as an author, and I really hope I was able to capture her writing style with this chapter and character. Thank you all so much, and thanks for reading!


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